Probably the real answer is, that evolutionary astrology chose me. The reason I care for it so much, is because it offers me choices and solutions. My human nature came into this life conditioned to think that outside forces create an ordained fate for my life. In the early years, I wanted astrology to tell me that the planets were creating some kind of havoc in my life, when a relationship went bad or when something went wrong in my life, that would lead to something wonderful. I wanted it to say, Shawn, you have a special purpose in this life. You are special. Your struggles will be worth it.
Victim mentality. Perfectionism. They have ruled periods of my life especially when in stressful situations.
What I’ve come to learn, through meditating on my birth map, is who I am. Perhaps not the spiritually awakened I AM, who I dreamed of becoming (to avoid the human struggle), but the human that walks on this earth. Through contemplation of the symbols, I create meaning in my life, and continue to journey that road of meaning which merges my human ways with my Soul’s Calling. I listen intently knowing that I may not always hear the truth until meditation, reflection and time reveal a truth that evolves through life.
I forgive myself when the victim rears her head or the perfectionist creates relationship conflict.
In wrapping up 2015, and over a Saturn cycle of study, how I come to see my role in this field that has, in some ways, consumed my life, is to be a facilitator of interpretation and meaning for anyone drawn to this kind of exploration.